This is not a grand theory of everything.
This is a theory but instead of being grand, I’d like it to be simple. And rather than pretending it can explain everything in this vast universe, I’m just aiming for it to explain my thoughts that can in turn guide my actions.
Maybe it will be helpful for others, maybe it won’t be. But I’m certain writing it will help me.
the three spaces
As I enter my 30s, my world continues to expand.
I’ve gone to more places, met more people and gained more experiences now than I have ever before. This isn’t special. It’s how time works.
The more I see, the more you know nothing is exactly the same. But you also know there are always parallels. It’s like that saying, “You can’t compare apples to oranges!”
Of course you can! Comparing, in fact, is the most honest and natural thing you can do. How else would we learn? How else could we make sense of this incredibly diverse world, appreciate every difference and yet be able to build on previous knowledge? Go forth and compare, I say.
At my internship in 2015, I researched and presented on Religion & The Common Space in Singapore. I think that might have been my first time conceiving the idea of “a space” – not (just) the physical and tangible but the invisible norms, rules, history that make it real. No two spaces are exactly same. And yet, we can compare and name them.
The three spaces I’m about to identify are not just ideas. I’ve lived them. I’ve been in each one, to varying intensities and identities but enough to smell the distinction between them. It might also be nothing new but I’m stopping myself from finding out before I write this – I know “the third space” is a concept out there and I am sure after this I will read more deeply into that and integrate the idea into this.
But this isn’t so much about the idea than my hot takes, being:
- as humans, we need them all
- a space that knows its primary identity is far better than one that doesn’t
- a space that knows when to shift identities will fit humans
But first, what are the three spaces? The three spaces are the home, the marketplace and the community centre. Hear me out.
space I: the home
Aim: to love
Focus: protect
My biggest mindset shift in the past years that helped me have a better relationship with my loved ones was: you can’t choose how you want to be loved.
You can request, but it might never be fulfilled. You can teach, but they might never learn. And yet, you love anyway because that’s what makes it a home.
space II: the marketplace
Aim: to deliver results
Focus: produce
This is what we normally think of as work, or as being professional.
It’s interesting to think about. On one hand, you can argue that in the modern world the marketplace is supreme because everything is transactional and profit-driven (thanks capitalism). Think of the modern university, government or social media.
But at the same time, because we humans need all three spaces, the fight to squeeze the home and the community centre into the actual marketplace actually dilutes the ability to be truly what it is. Are we “a family” or are we here to get results? Am I here to work or should my boss overlook my constant mistakes because I’m only human?
The office is left confused.
space III: the community centre
Aim: to grow
Focus: process
If the home is frustrated and the office confused, then the community centres are empty & underused.
There is a paradox in Singapore. Lifelong learning is championed and funding comes through Skillsfuture credits given to each citizen but less than 30% actually used them. You can interpret this in multiple ways, the worst one being “people just dont want to learn!!!1!”.
Or maybe, our society’s community spaces are so shrivelled up from 60 years of disuse and attack that there is no learning culture, limited quality teaching and citizens who don’t know how to learn anymore.
learn to move, learn to create
my personal goals then are simply this:
to learn how to identify which space I’m in and move if I need to
to learn how to create shining examples of these spaces at the right time and place
thanks for listening.